purely abstract logic,no strings attached

i realize this isn't much fun seeing your grades coming one by one. you would love to go to some pain giving dominatrix sessions so that you can find your grades all together, not to be taunted by your profs and grades.

i used to write a diary. now i have decided to save paper and instead contribute to global warming by sending out heat off my laptop into northern pole glaciers.

my hair is getting longer with each passing day, but still i am far shorter than lord Shiva, whose hair took years of negligence which resulted in him getting hair so long and dirty that he had to summon Ganga from heaven to wash his hair. Chicks must dig that look at that time, there is no other way i can explain his 108 marriages. why dont i get any. cant blame someone if he finds those goddesses hot. they actually were. it worked that way. goddesses were hot but males were either too cranky and dirty or had four heads or had a anaconda as his couch.

i'm done. fuck off.

Everyday i feel myself a little bit weaker

I am sure I was a superman when i was born.

I got to write this off before effect of sleep wears off.

Sleep left me. As soon as I realized that I was not gonna die in my sleep, not this time anyway, I embraced myself for another day of lies. I felt like crap(could budge my eyes or my body).I tried to find my mobile like a blind person who could only move his arms; it is always below my pillow somewhere. I managed to find it, forced my eyes to see time. it was 8:04 am. Sure I felt like crap. I went to bed around 5:00 am. I decided to stay in bed for some time.

Then it came. A bout of nausea, stronger than ever. Another day triumphed. Was this the way it was supposed to be? Each day I feel myself getting a little bit sicker. Each day I come out of my bed feeling miserable, with no idea of why I would like to go through another awesome day of this shitty life. But I am able to hide my confusion easily. With each I have been growing weaker I had been getting good in wearing my mask. Façade which need so dearly because world doesn’t need to know what I am on the inside. It is actually just about a handful of them, you know, different ones to use when I am with different people, when I am in different situations. Mostly I wear the one having a big smile pasted on it. It sometimes give the impression of a joker. God, do I need to say to say I hate this one. But I wear it anyhow because it is the one that keeps people away from reaching out to me. They see a happy smiling person and they figure out nothing is wrong. Another one tries to keep people occupied by making fun of other people’s facades. You would be actually surprised how poorly people choose their masks. I sometimes see right through them to see a writhing soul(or whatever you wanna call it) trying to break away. Then there is my favorite one who cares about this world, one who cares to pay people a visit once in awhile, who likes to wear clean laundry, one who fears what might happen if his CGPA drops below 7.0 because he wont be able to apply to some companies, he is slow so he can have a girl like walk. This one is a charmer, he really is. He is vulnerable as everybody else which is good because, you see, it gives people to think they have gotten inside you, they have torn off all your masks (or what I call my “wall”, stolen from Mr. Pink Floyd). A false impression to give. Nobody has ever got through this wall. On one or two occasions, I might have let something in, but made sure it wasn’t someone. I knew better than to give people key to my heart.

I am shouting a little bit too much these days. That is an efficient way to muffle voices in your head. I brain gets so mixed up when I hear to them. I am not used to them.

I got to stop now because you know I think I am waking up.

It was nice to let it out. But one thing I must clarify, no one would be able to get me with my mask off. There is just a skull beneath. It will scare you off. No one befriends a scary looking person.

WHY TO HATE RELIGION

So now I have a major tomorrow. But I can’t get myself to study because I do not force myself to do things I don’t like. So instead I would like to explain why I hate religion.

Drawback no. 1-

Religion gives a chance to correct yourself. That is you can change yourself anytime. One would think that is not a bad thing to do, like someone can revert back to “good” ways (whatever he thinks these good ways maybe) anytime. Every religion offers you with a lot of ways for redemption like going to Mecca or bathing in Ganges or visiting Akal Takht. A person indulges in “evil” activities (again abstract… I don’t have the critical skills to define abstract things… you may assume them to be anything you like… like robbing someone else in anyway… like government officials), and bathes in Ganges on Kumbh or whatever. What he has now. A feeling that all his sins have been washed away with all the loiter by Ganges and he can peacefully return to his usual selfish ways. I mean who gives these people mental satisfaction of being on the self proclaimed path of nirvana when all they have done in their short and pathetic lives is live foe sake of consumerism. Can holding a religious gathering at your place once in a while and mumbling few lines of Ramayan shift-delete whatever you have done in your past life. These people must be banned from making pilgrimages to Haridwar. Infact religion must be banned from taking a refuge in someone’s heart.

Look, all I am saying is someone who wants to do something good in his life won’t need to donate huge amount of money to some temple. So stop trying to hide yourself behind religion and accept responsibility for whatever you have done. If you are to justify yourself even then or don’t think you have done any wrong, then I got no problem with you. For all of you posing themselves as Hanuman bhakht, stop doing it. Religion is just giving you another way to spend your money for entertaining yourself. So you can just purchase some clothes instead or get a good meal once in a while(that might even be of some use).

I think all of you know what other drawbacks are- religion kills people, does more damage than nuclear weapon, disfigures you mentally instead of physically, makes you irresponsible for your actions like it was all destined to be. But I wanted to discuss just this one, cause it has been bothering me quite some time now.